The Power of Asks
How asks can lead to life pivotal moments, all at once.
4 Small Actions
I dreamed a dream of a life where no disease prevailed, where no hearts ached, where life knew no bounds and the only sounds that echoed were the sounds of glory and praise for life forever and ever.
Dr. Kevin Ham
I often ask “Why?” Why did my friend have to die without notice last year, on February 10, 2025, when he was supposed to catch the early morning flight from San Fran to Vancouver and have lunch with me, celebrate life and enjoy one another’s vitality for life and to do more than what was expected or required of us.
Why? I asked God. Why did my new puppy find her way out of our yard and die? Why such seemingly unreasoning injustice?
I have surmised my own answers after pondering these heartbreaking moments that reverberate throughout my life. Its partner, Grief, following like a diminishing shadow but still ever-present, reminding me of moments we dreamed together, thinking we had much more time together, was suddenly and abruptly cut short.
Then I have many more moments when I ask, “Why not…?” to which answers abruptly emerge with reasons: Not enough time, not enough money, not enough talent, not enough resources, not enough knowledge, not enough focus, parade in rapid succession to lead me to another uneventful day, week and month, and the years pass.
Where did my 55 years go? Why could I not dream more, aspire more, be more, do more, of all that arises in my heart? The chasm between my heart and my actions was as far as the earth is from the sun.
Then a ray of light dawns in the crevices of my clogged arteries, to let light in, and I start to wonder and ponder, “What if I do this?” But the dreams in my heart lay paralyzed, until I have the thought to pray for wisdom and ask, “Lord, grant me wisdom and lead my heart and my hands and feet. Let me ask for wisdom, which comes to all those who ask for Her presence and her many gifts, liberally, without reproach.” I consider this like a law of the universe, having discovered its magical powers in the book of James.
Then I ask, dare I ask, in a quiet whisper that moves from my heart to my hands, to my fingers, to my feet, to ask something that has sprouted within my heart.
I have also discovered another law of the universe, espoused by the Carpenter,
“Ask, and you shall receive. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and it shall be opened to you.” People overlook or misunderstand this wise law, believing it to be merely a pleasant aphorism. Yet it is a cascading, powerful set of laws that move from thought to discovery to focused action.
Baseball is the sports version of Homer’s Odyssey. The first battle is to adventure from home. The last battle is to return home. This epic repeats over 9 innings. For each of your home runs, there are 3 bases and home. If you do not enter home, you are left stranded on one of the bases of life.
Ask (1st base) Most people remain waiting after “Asking,” impatient to receive the actions one must do to proceed to the next step.
Seek. (2nd base) Very few find because they grow weary of seeking.
Knock (3rd base) Those who stand at the door, knock timidly a few times then, depart before it opens. The door to their dreams remains closed, growing more downtrodden with each shrinking attempt.
Enter (Home base). When the door opens, you must enter prudently but quickly before it shuts.
When you hear stories of success, the preceding battles of unanswered requests, fruitless searches, and endless slammed doors are often told as fleeting footnotes. However, they are the necessary exercises that build resilience and sprout the roots of a determined will, nourished by tears and newfound insights as each ray of light gets hungrily swallowed by rejection and failure.
Then, there comes a time when one receives the precious insight that:
While one must ask for help, one must embrace Faith.
While one may seek to find, one must marry Hope.
While one may incessantly knock on doors, one must embody Love.
Oh My Dear Heart
Wisdom has many daughters. I have embraced three of them. Their names are Faith, Hope and Love.
Dr. Kevin Ham
Do the physical plaques obstructing the blood flow in my arteries and physical heart mirror the obstructions in my emotional and spiritual heart?
What is obstructing the love arising in my heart?
My mind calculates and reasons. With much veracity and logic, I consider my next set of actions, having asked, sought and knocked, with doors opening but my mind shutting them suddenly as it doesn’t make financial sense or is too big a commitment to step into that path, or too scary with too many unknowns, too many uncertainties. Excuses flood in to obstruct this sudden marvel at the door finally opening. I grab ahold of the handle and start to shut the door myself, turning my back on opportunity.
How many doors have I shut myself or not stepped through to embrace this new path?
I decided that I will trust. I will step into that room when the door I asked for opens. How many are able to get to this moment? I recollect all the potentially pivotal moments that passed me by. I have had the courage to step through many doors, but many more I was afraid to step through. Had I trusted and obeyed, how different might my life be?
But I have no regrets. These are lessons, and I can start anew. I can start now… again.
The Wisdom of Ants
Four things on earth are small, but they are exceedingly wise: the ants are a people not strong, yet they provide their food in the summer.
Proverbs 30:24-25
I decided to be the title sponsor this year for the Nearness of You cancer charity concert fundraiser, in honour of the late Grammy-award-winning saxophonist Michael Brecker. It is produced by Michael’s late wife, Susan Brecker, with proceeds supporting cancer research at Columbia University Medical Center, specifically the work of my dear friends, Dr. Azra Raza and Dr. Siddhartha Mukherjee. My heart said, “Yes, go for it!” But my mind screamed, “But you have no time, and why not use this for your own dreams?” I battled this great war between my heart and my mind. And, this time, my heart prevailed. I intuited that this path would open the doors of my heart and many other doors… quite quickly.
We booked our flights for a week from February 4th to 11th, and oh, what a journey it was.
We arrived at Azra’s temporary place, the Mamdani’s residence. Azra had just sold her home, and she was “squatting” at her friends’ place. She wanted us to stay with her. The Mamdanis were travelling, and their son, the new mayor of NYC, had moved into his official residence at Gracie Mansion, so I would occupy his room. Wow, that was surreal. As we stepped into the living room, we were introduced to another guest. It was supposed to be just us having dinner with just Azra, but this intriguing guest, who had just flown in from Portland and was supposed to meet Azra an hour before we arrived, had taken a nap that went unheeded, and arrived just 5 minutes before us. Azra asked if he could join us for dinner. Of course, we said yes.
His name was Ryan, and he was the genius who built the majestic ant colony at the American Museum of Natural History. We had just visited in December. It was amazing to see the leaf-cutter ants carry leaves 20x their weight. Ryan likened it to us carrying a 7-foot plank around for miles on end. He told us about how he brought the queen ant from a farm in Africa all the way to NY to make it her home. He described the many types of ants and their species, including a fascinating story about slave ants.
I had always marvelled at the instructions in Proverbs (6:6 and 30:24) to consider the wisdom and ways of the ants. “Consider her ways and be wise”. When I asked him about these two proverbs, he explained them to me very vividly. I had been asking God for such wisdom. Ryan offered to give us a private tour of the ants at the museum with his friend Matthew. What a privilege it was to receive even more wisdom from them. Serendipity is what Azra and I both remarked—that Ryan slept in and missed his date with Azra, so we could meet.
On our tour, we learned that another fellow ant lover is a famous actress whom Azra would love to meet one day. I believe their shared love of ants and the power of serendipity will one day connect and bind them. Who would have known there were so many ant lovers?!
The Heart Surgeons: Fragile Arteries
Do you see a man skillful in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men.
Proverbs 22:29
The day of my flight, Azra asked me to call her. I wonder why? She asked if I would like to meet the head of cardiac surgery, but we would need to leave at 8 am. That would be 5 am PST. I said, “Yes!” Azra’s older brother was also a cardiac surgeon at Columbia University.
When I discovered I had major arterial plaques last year, I asked Azra to ask her brother, “Can plaques be reversed?” A simple “No.” “Has he ever seen any possibility?” Another “No.” But I was convinced otherwise because Dr. Esselstyn was also a cardiac surgeon, and his methods and dietary protocol showed otherwise. He had published studies in major medical journals and had written the book, “Preventing and Reversing Heart Disease.” I wondered why so few present-day doctors knew of him, even though he worked at the esteemed Cleveland Clinic.
A deep bow of respect to all doctors for their sacrifices and their hearts for helping people.
Hearing the history of cardiac surgery, surgical residents answering hard questions reminded me of my days as a resident doctor. When I saw the beating heart and the tiny 1.2-6 mm coronary vessels, it dawned on me how little plaque, just a few mm to half a cm, could end someone’s life suddenly. The fragility of life.
I showed Azra’s brother, the cardiac surgeon, the scans showing that I had reversed the plaque in my carotid arteries in just 3 months. He asked how I did it. Diet. But suddenly Azra beckoned me to follow her, so I got up and left before I had the chance to explain exactly how I did it.
Here I was among the most accomplished cardiac surgeons in America. How did this happen? I wondered.
Providential Serendipity
The Invisible Hand plants my feet along a path that opens new worlds with one step. Step after step is a whole new world.
Dr. Kevin Ham
Providential Serendipity. These were the words that imprinted into my heart during my magical week in NY. I felt a guiding hand, which President Washington referred to as the Invisible Hand, leaving His fingerprints along the path of my feet.
Auction Dinner
Most of our paths cross unnoticed but once a while, lightning strikes to fertilize and electrify our hearts to one another.
Dr. Kevin Ham
Azra wanted us to attend a pre-concert dinner auction. As we arrived, I was introduced as ‘Kevin from Canada.’ After dinner, Azra spoke about her mission to cure cancer and how she was finally on the verge of achieving it with her Stentinel. I wholeheartedly believe in her and her vision, and I invested a significant amount to jump-start her seed round.
Then, we went around the room doing introductions. My turn. I told the group how I met Azra and, upon reading her book, “The First Cell”. I was so moved and inspired by her life mission that I had the thought to ask her if she would like to write a book together on preventing cancer. She said to call her and said we should not only write a book together, but how about doing a documentary together, with Dr. Sid Mukherjee, Susan Brecker, the Nearness of You Concerts and the vision of curing cancer. I stepped through that door. In 2024, I arranged for Chris Froome, 4x Tour de France winner to come to Vancouver to lead a charity bikeathon for Azra. So Chris stayed at my place, and about 80 of us rode together with him. Can you imagine? Chris gave me one of his yellow TDF winning jerseys for my birthday the day after. Wow.
The next person said they were one of Azra’s patients in her book. Donna. For 30 years, Azra has been her oncologist. She spoke about how Azra empowered her to make decisions and that she believes empathy and care for her are what have kept her alive. She has travelled from Chicago to New York every two weeks for blood transfusions for the last 18 years to be treated by Azra. We had briefly spoken while getting our food. We connected even then. But after hearing her story, I fell in love with her spirit. She is 88. Azra had mentioned her a few times. We spoke heart to heart afterwards, and I must have hugged her many times out of joy and care. We instantly became close friends. How quickly hearts connect. We met many other wonderful people. It was an inspiring evening.
Providential serendipity visited us yet again.
The Nearness of You Concert
No longer here, I see you everywhere, feel you everywhere, hear you whisper and shout, telling me to go on and not succumb to Grief but dress her up with Compassion and Purpose.
Dr. Kevin Ham
I had invited 16 guests to join me at the concert, dear friends, some of whom I had not seen in decades. It was held at the magnificent Lincoln Centre. Hugh Jackman would be speaking, and James Taylor would be singing. I was seated next to Hugh. I visualized what words I would speak to him if given the opportunity.
“I so wanted to meet your father after I heard you speak about him on a podcast with Tim Ferriss. He seemed like such a great man and had values that I cherish. A devout faith and an ever-encouraging father.”
“I also admire and honour how you held the first charity event for Azra and Sid in your home 16 years ago.”
“I love your movies, especially The Greatest Showman and Les Misérables. Musicals which make my heart sing.”
“I was a huge fan of X-Men and Wolverine growing up, especially of X-Men comic book issues #136-142, Days of Future Past.”
But besides me saying, “Hi, I’m Kevin Ham,” I wouldn't get that chance, as he had to leave for an emergency at home. He did say, “Hi Kevin!” And in those 15 minutes sitting beside him listening to the singers, I again thought, “Providential serendipity.”
Hugh Jackman and me :)
James Taylor came up to the stage and sang the theme song of the concert, Nearness of You. I don’t know what happened, but I suddenly felt the wells of my heart proceed out of my eyes. As each chord he struck drew up the buckets of my inner wellspring while he tenderly sang the lyrics for Michael Brecker, the Grammy award-winning jazz musician, who passed away from leukemia two decades prior but still sings to us through his saxophone in these charity concerts for the research of Dr. Azra Raza and Dr. Sid Mukherjee.
The song, in its raw, powerful authenticity, struck a deep chord in my soul. The echoing question reverberating throughout my entire being was, "Can I do more?" Am I living to my fullest and being bold enough to stand up to such a great monstrous disease, Cancer, yet with the humility to bow the knees of my heart in prayer for wisdom, for strength and courage, not only for myself, but for all those infected by this and for those it lies in wait.
The NY Academy of Science
Providential Serendipity has five fingers to grab a hold of you and me. Just grab her hand and let her lead.
Dr. Kevin Ham
I had invited Nick Dirks, the President and CEO of the New York Academy of Sciences, to the concert and briefly spoke with him that evening. He has the look of Einstein, but more distinguished. Azra had introduced my daughter and me to her good friend, as we were curious about music schools in NY, since we love Broadway. She invited her husband and their brilliant son, who teaches Paradise Lost, which is our book to read this year. We connected like lightning in those short two hours, talking about Darwin, AI, cycling, education, philosophy, Paradise Lost, health, music, movies, Broadway, and salsa dancing. That first meeting left a lasting impression.
We met Nick for an early dinner, just before our Hamilton show. We had just filmed part of the documentary with Sid, Susan, Azra and me with a sweet, resilient Broadway dancer fighting cancer. Sid dedicated a toast to two enlightened souls. Man is enlightened by virtue of two attributes: his ability to reason and his fight for emancipation (freedom). The highest level of emancipation is from disease, to be free of disease, and the “Emperor of All Maladies” (Sid’s Pulitzer Winning biography on cancer) is cancer, the concert held to raise awareness and solidarity to find the solutions to this devastating disease.
The Manhattan traffic moved like cars with flat tires. We were 30 minutes late. He graciously texted, ‘No hurry.’
We got out two blocks early from the Uber and started running.
We spoke about the concert. I told the story of how I met Azra. He told us his first meetings with Azra and later Sid. He then spoke about his work at the NY Academy of Science. The prizes they awarded in US, UK and Israel to promising aspiring scientists. $250,000 Blavnik Awards. I had not had the pleasure of meeting the Blavniks, though they were at the concert.
He suggested during our meal that I visit and that I would meet very interesting people and also fascinating projects. I, of course, was interested. He asked if I knew Reid Hoffman. I adored Reid as I often listened to his podcast, Masters of Scale. He founded Paypal and Linkedin. But I loved that he majored in Philosophy. Nick also did. I told Nick I wished I had studied Philosophy as well. Philo = Love. Sophia = Wisdom. The Love of Wisdom. I loved Wisdom, and I ask and seek her daily. I told him I would love to interview Reid one day. He said he would gladly introduce him to me. I was delighted.
As we finished our meal and took a last-minute photo, he quickly said he would love for me to be part of the Board of Governors of the NY Academy of Sciences. I was focused on capturing a photo of us, and his request only partially registered. As my wife and I sat eating dessert, I asked her if I had heard correctly that Nick was asking me to join the Board of Governors. I quickly looked at who was on the Board of Governors. He had mentioned the former President of Yale.
I thought I must have heard incorrectly. I texted Azra that I think Nick asked me to be on the Board. She was overjoyed and told me that the likes of Jefferson, Madison, Edison and Einstein were once members. That it would be a momentous opportunity. I texted Nick right before Hamilton started. ‘I thought you were asking if I’d like to be on the Board of Governors, but it didn’t register until later that that was what you were proposing.’
Hamilton had inspired me so much 8 years ago. Just after I had watched it, I told my wife that I would one day make my own inspiring musical. I wrote the first and second drafts years ago, but have been too busy to make the dream a reality.
I had momentary questions intrude upon the show. “Could it be?” “How?” “Why?” ‘What does this mean?”
I already had so many Providential Serendipities in these few days. I had intuited, when I decided to stay for a week, that many doors would open for me to step through. Each day was expressed in “It was the best of times.” It was the worst [coldest] of times.” It was the coldest Feb in NY. -25 degrees Celsius. But the weather would not freeze our warm, connected hearts and the warm embrace of the Providential Hand.
The next morning, Nick replied, ‘Yes, I was asking you to join the Board of Governors for the New York Academy! It would be a privilege to be able to work with you on exciting projects in areas of interest in science and technology.”
My life reads like a novel. Like a dream. I write to capture the feelings and thoughts of my heart. To remind myself to dream, to be heart, to have Faith, Hope and Love as my guides, following Providential Serendipity. In turn, inspire each of you to dream with Hope, to live with Faith, and to love Love.
Providential Serendipity. Reach out and grab hold of her hand.
Ask and receive. With Faith.
Seek and find. With Hope.
Knock and open. With Love.
My heart is overflowing with these three daughters of Wisdom.
My gratitude and love to:
The Mamdani’s, for allowing us to stay in their private residence.
Ryan, the real Antman, for his love of nature and ever cheerful wisdom.
Donna, the resilient architect with a heart of joy.
Dr. Raza, for opening his hands and his heart to me.
Sid, for enlightening our souls.
Susan, for her beautiful heart
Nick, for his endearing heart and visionary soul.
Azra, for her friendship and love.
The marriage of Providence and Serendipity
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Life-Changing Questions
What is your ask?
What do you seek?
What door shall you knock on?
Who or what shall open unto you?
Just write the first answers that enter your heart.
Grab ahold of Providential Serendipity’s hands and embrace Faith, Hope and Love with all your heart and soul.
Next issue:
Reversing High Blood Pressure in a Week
What Most Doctors Don’t Know
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